Music is to be enjoyed, not endured.

This has been my philosophy for about as long as I’ve had a temporal lobe. There’s a huge categorical difference between music that I simply don’t enjoy, and that which is undeniably bad. Unlike the former, which requires a degree in semantics, bad music can be identified almost scientifically.

To do so, allow me to summon the worst example of unlistenable bunk to ever disgrace the Internet.  ‘Music’ so bad, that it could have only been produced by one man… Why?… Because no two people would allow it to come into existence.  It was, in fact, birthed by none other than West Virginia’s favorite telemarketer, Judge Judy plaintiff, and self-proclaimed “Blues Man”: Romeo Rose.
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I know you’re thinking it, and so am I.

I’m an asshole.

I stumbled upon this guy’s site today. I’m not exactly sure what possessed me to not only browse his website, but read his blog. I suppose boredom payed a large role, but this was different. Today, I took a journey into a level of depravity so vapid, so delusional, that I had no option but to what was best for everyone: Share it with the world.

http://eddiestarr.com/

His blog links directly to his myspace page, where you can read up on Eddie The Star’s latest eHappenings. Just-so-happens, The Star is a sociopath beyond anything I’m willing to admit that I’ve seen before. Allow me to present you with a direct copy / paste from his blog, because god knows he’s going to remove it once english speaking people above the age of seven begin to read it…

September 17, 2007 - Monday - 11:32 AM

Starwood Preffered Guest - W HOTELS N’stuff -

Earlier in January of this year, I was fortunate enough to be taken to a W Hotel by an acquaintence I shall name Mr.X. Now, for those of you not familiar, W Hotels.. It is a brand of Ultra High Class, Sheik and totally expensive hotels. The W Hotel is not just a “hotel” its a full sensory experience. Their are four in California, and many throughout the United States and other countries.In January, when Mr.X took me to the W Hotel, I was awestruck and at a loss for words. However, I was also saddened when Mr.X in his typical fashion boasted about how this is a “once in a lifetime experience” and ” Not a Normal Hotel for Normal People” Basically, I was being told that I should appreciate the experience becasue this Hotel was out of my league.Well Well Well, Guess What Mr.X ? I am Eddie Starr! ! When I am determined and really like something, I get it, end of subject.That being said, I would like to share with the world (actually I only care about Mr.X seeing this) exactly how many times I have stayed since January. Starwood preffered guest is about to upgrade my membership status to Platinum. Mr.X told me that he has been wokring for years to acquire Platinum status, it took me 9 months . . So MR.X, how do you feel about this, **************** **************** I just thought i’d take a minute to gloat towards the direction of Mr.X. He made me feel inadaqute in January and I will never forget that. A note to everyone, we are all equals.. However, when my Integrity and core humility is dissassembled I become defensive, I guess my way of defending myself in this situation was to stay at the W Hotels (all of them in California) more times in 10 months than Mr.X has stayed in Five Years. I don’t want congratulations, just a realization for Mr.X, The world does not revolve around his arrogence and money and suddenly the gap between the Ultra Rich and Middle Class has closed in a bit. and Mr.X think about that before you start playing the “I am better than you because I wipe my ass with Gold Toilet Paper” game with others. Yes, you may have it all, but I am not far behind you. The only difference between us is I will let my friends wipe their bums with the gold toilet paper and not keep it all to myself. LOVE YOU ALL! -Eddie Star

Uh… may…zing… wasn’t it? I left the following comment on his blog:

As a random blog reader, I find myself at a loss for words here.

From what I can tell, it sounds like Mr. X got off easy. What kind of egomaniacal cobb stays at a hotel 23 times to prove a point? In fact, what kind of idiot stays at an expensive hotel 2 times to prove a point?…

I think your large sum of money would be better spent on therapy. What we have here is a fine example of what a tragically poor self image will do to someone. Vanity, and attention-seeking behavior are, by and large, the easiest tell-tale signs of a lonely, lonely person.

I don’t think I’ll be too surprised when he denies to make my comment public. Because of this, I feel that you guys should comment here instead. Let’r rip, komedy komandos. Make me proud!

For the record, saying anything remotely similar to: “…[such and such album] was the most important album of [buzzword time-frame]…” is a dead giveaway that someone has no idea what they’re talking about.

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This is future of rock and roll;

“Would the last person out of the music industry please turn the lights off on your way out” - John ‘OG’ Pickard

His name is Stew McKinsey. When you’re done laughing, his song “oyasuminasai” is actually quite good…

This series of blogs is dedicated to Ol’Swerdlow… considering it’s practically his idea entirely.

The capital… every state has one. It’s a widely agreed upon fact that every state capital has far more than it’s fair share of douchebags. Of course, by “widely agreed upon” I mean that someone mentioned it to me once, and I liked how it sounded… but that’s beside the point.
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